Tuesday 18 August 2009

so close in love

only so far away.
the wedding taught me a lot about how much i used to take for granted with Sophie but how love can rage on even a million miles away i have spent nights here crying and ones laughing recently because i have been able to get contact although nothing ever quite feels the same as the days of holding here in my arms and tickling and giggling and late night kisses conversations and it wont at least not until im back the last few days seems to have gone so slow but perhaps because i have been left alone too long at times and got lost in my thoughts and drowning in my tears just like Alice and i feel just about as small i guess i took the pill that makes you smaller because these last few days have made me feel tiny and scared that what could one small person ever do to change such a huge country but anyone who knows me that if i am knocked down i will get back up i have to this is something that took me along time to realize through my life and its the same in love this is one big knockdown but i know that when i get back ill be straight back off the canvas and come back fighting to do what ever i need to make things the same.

love is a strange thing but a thing you always miss and if i miss the feelings now god only knows how i feel when im stuck without anyone in a couple months

but there is no point falling down before i need too right now i have regular contact and im just going to have to store these memories while i can for the hard times with my face on the floor and use the memories to pick my head back up

i love you sophie and ill never stop loving you but please dont wait for me
i want your happiness and maybe we can see how things work out
xxxxxx

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