I was humbled the other day to say the least.
It had Been a long morning of meetings preparations, In the break I had been invited to go and watch a film at the Tejols. Not that i particularly needed an invitation, as i have been spending most of my free time there anyway. Still it was nice to of been asked and so i settled on the cane sofa surrounded by various relatives of friends who all seemed to be connected in some way, my knees brushed by the heads of excitable children. 28 weeks later played out to a audience young but unfazed by its gore, I sat smiling listening to the shrill shrieks followed by laughter. Half way through the film Tito stumbled through the door way the various children who were scattered over the floor parted to allow him a place to collapse in font of the fan where he passed out and snored out long breaths reaking of rum. It was only the afternoon and the children looked around at each other with a knowing smile the odd eye roll but no one too bothered and so we set back down to the film Tito grunting through his slumber on the cold concrete.
Close to the end of the film there was a shrieking from outside the window. With confused looks we soon found out what the cause was and in came Jnr's cousin the same who tucked a pistol in the back of his shorts carrying his daughter her once white t shirt soaked in blood a look of concern crossed his once hard man face and he sound "ma." Tita Emmy rushed to see where all the noise was coming from too which there was a lot. Emmy was a training nurse and seemed to have the perfect motherly medical way about her when she would regularly check over my bits and lay her hand over my forehead in case i had suddenly gained a fever. She shooed children out the way and made space on the sofa of which i was sitting she sat with the girl in her arms the back of her head pouring blood reminicant of that in the film we had been so close to finishing. She tried to remove the blood stained clothes but this was only responded to by louder cries. I sat next to the girl holind her tiny hand and trying to get her to take a gulkp of coke from my glass remebering somthing about the sugar being good for bloodloss. She was silent but only for a moment as she took a long gulp the screams returned tita sat bandaging the head of the small girl the best she could through the wriggling, jnrs cousin stood in the corner completely pale and speechless a man i had once feared now reduced to a worried father it was now i realised he was still only human he still had the same concerns and fears for his children and he still was capable of compassion. As for tito he still layed spread eagle on the floor snoring solidly as nothing had happened which to him and what he remebered of the day the next morning nothing had happened.
NB
this was a total internet cafe rush ill edit it next time i come in please bare with it
Sunday 18 October 2009
Wednesday 14 October 2009
home in heart
We landed in manila at about 12:30 got our bags and took the long walk to the main road to find a taxi refuse to be robbed blind by the airport taxi services. We being the man i now call "kuya" brother for those who don't speak Tagalog. We were hunted down by a taxi whose driver was more than keen to get our bags in the the boot he asked where we were going. We replied Payatas he blinked he said it will be extra. Taxi's rarely drive to Payatas its the dump site of manila housing well over thousands and the place i felt so at home. I had thus far never experienced anything but welcoming smiles and safety in Payatas the youth being some of the most strong willed individuals i had ever met. I only knew vaguely from off the cuff warnings of gangs of the danger in Payatas, never really experiencing it. After haggling with the driver he got the fare to a set 450 pesos. Which actually was a lot cheaper than an airport taxi who were asking double. The taxi driver was eager to make conversation much like most other people i have met here. He began to tell me of a friend he has from England and he said they gave him a gift that i would be interested in. This puzzled me but i politely smiled and waited while he veered through three lines of traffic at 40mph, to dig out a small coin from his wallet. He passed it back and for the first time i felt a wave of patriotic pride mixed with home sickness. There on a round clump of metal sat the queens head, it was a pound coin. I smiled If what slightly nervously, as we barely missed the bumper of the car in front, sailing through a puddle drenching three girls walking too close to the road. He responded to my looks with a hearty chuckle and with a faux American accent, stated "crazy driving maaaaan!" which pretty much summed up the traffic here perfectly.
Before we knew it we pulled up to the top of the hill ready for the long walk down to our manila Bachelor pad. Struggling with suitcases over the very rough terrain we walked down stopping at the youth center hearing familiar voices of friends long missed. We said our hellos then carried our things down to the house it was close to Jnr's house, where i had stayed before so i knew i was close to familiar faces again. I walked into a room old and stark with breeze block walls patched occasionally with wood. I was welcomed with "how do you like your knew home?" it was from someone I later found out to be kuya Cocoi; a Filipino volunteer who stayed here until the weekend when he went back to his family. He was thin and tall almost ghostly but with the same pleasant smile that graced his fellow countrymen. We spoke small talk while 'Nyor went to see his family and assert himself as the the man of the house again. As i sat in the middle of the room the one and only room, except the partitioned on sweet bathroom, consisting of a toilet bowl and a bucket full of water (Payatas shower.) As we sat talking i felt we weren't alone as i watched rats and roaches quickly scurry over the walls soon to disappear into gaps. I quickly reassured myself and forced myself to adjust. I would now be sharing a small concrete house with three guys, rats and roaches.
Junior reappeared later and asked if we waned to go ate Lourdes's, I willingly agreed it had been a while since I had seen her and it was always guaranteed entertainment. Sure enough it was it was like we had barely been away, Lourdes started her motherly way which i always told her not too although she did anyway and i didn't mind. The hours passed with the same familiar but well loved jokes and soon it was time to make the walk back home. It was dark And i felt nervous at the prospect of walking through Payatas at night. Although reassuring looks from junior reminded me he would look after me. We talked the whole way home excited at the prospect of being home. I saw men with large pump action shoguns siting on the corner. I looked to junior asking if they were security. He started talking on a completely different subject mishearing my accent and getting confused. Once we were finally having the same conversation again he told me that they were there, but would never be in the right place.
We were only two minutes from the house, when a man came out from a house we were now parallel with this stopped our conversation cold, there was a strange feeling in the air. The man stooped low and picked up a large rock my heart beating faster and faster, he turned to the house he had come from throwing the rock I heard a window smash. A woman appeared at the door way shouting "oh talaga?" which simply meant "oh really?" We quickly rushed into the house although with no real urgency. Junior turned on the light as it was the weekend it was only us tonight, the other two volunteers went home to visit family at the weekend. Junior quickly began setting up the bed on the floor; a simple beach mat and several blankets, avoiding eye contact with me. I hadn't realized but I was standing in the door way stock still, he looked at me and said "are you scared?" softly and in a brotherly way as if ready to comfort. I responded no quickly which i wasn't i was just in shock. We then sat on our bed on the concrete floor and he began telling me all his stories of growing up surrounded by violence. Gun shots rang outside not close but not far away either, between shots 'Nyor told me not ever to be afraid that there was a lot of people here to keep me safe and he was the first. This reassured me and no words ever spoken to me ever felt so true. We sat into the early hours unable to sleep as junior told me stories of the fraternities. When the gangs had asked him to join but he refused because he was the man of his family, he would not put them at risk, the way his father had. Saying that as much as he loved his faher and although he was young he could never understand his fathers need for drink and violence. I sat silent through all his stories tear in my eyes not upset but inspired.
When we got to sleep it was an uncomfortable one with no mosquito net, I was bitten by my non human room mates. My bones pushed harshly on the solid concrete, I woke up with a smile and only more determined to do what i came to do. The next day was he Gk expo which was a long hot day that seemed to last forever, but was as to be expected full of inspiring messages. This was my first chance to be back with the youth that showed me so much about myself. They were one of the reasons i made the choice to spend this year here. The day finished late and it was gone midnight when i arrived at the bachelor pad. I crawled under a borrowed mosquito net which i hoped would keep my room mates at bay.
The last few days have been filled with basketball games at the youth center in which the boys ran rings around me, but were always very gracious and eager that i was involved. When i wasn't getting schooled in basketball, I was playing music with the youth in the centre and being part of the usual Tagalish jokes. When i leave the center i have taken to sitting on the stoop and watching all the people pass. It is the place where i have done the most thinking and seen the most bizarre but familiar things. Peddlers and children fill the streets until late at night the music from the houses clash and fill he night air. I could sit and watch and listen to them for hours. The last few days i have been spending time at Tita Emmy's, the aunt of junior and mother of a friend of mine. I mostly go there for the TV but also for the company. Junior's uncle who is particular i only refer to him as Tito, invited me in the other day to watch the boxing. It didn't take much persuading and I took my place on the bamboo sofa, to watch a DVD of the greatest Pacquiao fights. Particularly the one where Ricky Hatton was knocked out cold in the second round. We watched this fight twice much to my displeasure, There was only so many times i could watch the closest hing to home at that second get totally pummeled. Although i knew the teasing was all in good heart. My friend arrived in the door way and rolled her eyes at her father and me sitting on the sofa getting far too into the boxing. She sat down next to me and joined in the teasing about the Hatton fight. The boxing came to an end and Tito left she sat and told me he went to visit her step brother in jail. There was an awkward silence which she broke with nervous laughter. She began explaining that her step brother's were the bad boys in Payatas a phrase i cringed at but knew she had picked it up only from he American TV that dominates the box. The brother who was in jail had been imprisoned for gang rape and the other I met shortly after. He walked through the room smoking a Marlboro. He stopped and said "hey Joe whats up" i felt nervous to reply but she nudged me the ribs implying it was okay. I said i was okay and how was he. I didn't really get a response clearly using up his main English vocabulary. As he passed through the room and his back was turned to me i saw the bulge at the back of his shorts, the handle of a pistol visible through his baggy white t shirt. I swallowed hard and sat nervously silent, he left as quickly as he came with a fleeting "bye Joe" as he left. This was my first experience With Juniors step cousin. The next was just if not more awkward as he had come to the house only to argue with his father as we sat in front of the TV. I could see the vulnerable sweet little girl feared her step brother. She was nearly sixteen but still had the innocence and looks of a girl much younger i squeezed her hand reassuringly not knowing what else to do.
Junior and his cousin had been the main ones to share there experiences of gang life and growing up surrounded by violence as children. Occasionally i get texts waning of "riots" or "gang wars" and what areas to stay out of. Although they are are rare it would seem my first week had landed me in a minor war zone that resolved itself quickly. I still feared for my vulnerable friends if anything more than myself. I knew I could handle myself more than some of them. Knowing there was gang rapists here made me feel sick but incredibly protective over my friends here knowing they were so vulnerable. Although the thought came while sitting on the stoop, they had dealt with it a lot longer than me. This thought sobered my anger and extinguished my protectiveness slightly. Still i worry for them, but then i have always been a worrier.
These dangers and concerns aside, the last few days I have been shown the warmth and hospitality that reminded me why i loved this place so much. It encouraged me to give back now as they had already given me too much without even realizing.
Before we knew it we pulled up to the top of the hill ready for the long walk down to our manila Bachelor pad. Struggling with suitcases over the very rough terrain we walked down stopping at the youth center hearing familiar voices of friends long missed. We said our hellos then carried our things down to the house it was close to Jnr's house, where i had stayed before so i knew i was close to familiar faces again. I walked into a room old and stark with breeze block walls patched occasionally with wood. I was welcomed with "how do you like your knew home?" it was from someone I later found out to be kuya Cocoi; a Filipino volunteer who stayed here until the weekend when he went back to his family. He was thin and tall almost ghostly but with the same pleasant smile that graced his fellow countrymen. We spoke small talk while 'Nyor went to see his family and assert himself as the the man of the house again. As i sat in the middle of the room the one and only room, except the partitioned on sweet bathroom, consisting of a toilet bowl and a bucket full of water (Payatas shower.) As we sat talking i felt we weren't alone as i watched rats and roaches quickly scurry over the walls soon to disappear into gaps. I quickly reassured myself and forced myself to adjust. I would now be sharing a small concrete house with three guys, rats and roaches.
Junior reappeared later and asked if we waned to go ate Lourdes's, I willingly agreed it had been a while since I had seen her and it was always guaranteed entertainment. Sure enough it was it was like we had barely been away, Lourdes started her motherly way which i always told her not too although she did anyway and i didn't mind. The hours passed with the same familiar but well loved jokes and soon it was time to make the walk back home. It was dark And i felt nervous at the prospect of walking through Payatas at night. Although reassuring looks from junior reminded me he would look after me. We talked the whole way home excited at the prospect of being home. I saw men with large pump action shoguns siting on the corner. I looked to junior asking if they were security. He started talking on a completely different subject mishearing my accent and getting confused. Once we were finally having the same conversation again he told me that they were there, but would never be in the right place.
We were only two minutes from the house, when a man came out from a house we were now parallel with this stopped our conversation cold, there was a strange feeling in the air. The man stooped low and picked up a large rock my heart beating faster and faster, he turned to the house he had come from throwing the rock I heard a window smash. A woman appeared at the door way shouting "oh talaga?" which simply meant "oh really?" We quickly rushed into the house although with no real urgency. Junior turned on the light as it was the weekend it was only us tonight, the other two volunteers went home to visit family at the weekend. Junior quickly began setting up the bed on the floor; a simple beach mat and several blankets, avoiding eye contact with me. I hadn't realized but I was standing in the door way stock still, he looked at me and said "are you scared?" softly and in a brotherly way as if ready to comfort. I responded no quickly which i wasn't i was just in shock. We then sat on our bed on the concrete floor and he began telling me all his stories of growing up surrounded by violence. Gun shots rang outside not close but not far away either, between shots 'Nyor told me not ever to be afraid that there was a lot of people here to keep me safe and he was the first. This reassured me and no words ever spoken to me ever felt so true. We sat into the early hours unable to sleep as junior told me stories of the fraternities. When the gangs had asked him to join but he refused because he was the man of his family, he would not put them at risk, the way his father had. Saying that as much as he loved his faher and although he was young he could never understand his fathers need for drink and violence. I sat silent through all his stories tear in my eyes not upset but inspired.
When we got to sleep it was an uncomfortable one with no mosquito net, I was bitten by my non human room mates. My bones pushed harshly on the solid concrete, I woke up with a smile and only more determined to do what i came to do. The next day was he Gk expo which was a long hot day that seemed to last forever, but was as to be expected full of inspiring messages. This was my first chance to be back with the youth that showed me so much about myself. They were one of the reasons i made the choice to spend this year here. The day finished late and it was gone midnight when i arrived at the bachelor pad. I crawled under a borrowed mosquito net which i hoped would keep my room mates at bay.
The last few days have been filled with basketball games at the youth center in which the boys ran rings around me, but were always very gracious and eager that i was involved. When i wasn't getting schooled in basketball, I was playing music with the youth in the centre and being part of the usual Tagalish jokes. When i leave the center i have taken to sitting on the stoop and watching all the people pass. It is the place where i have done the most thinking and seen the most bizarre but familiar things. Peddlers and children fill the streets until late at night the music from the houses clash and fill he night air. I could sit and watch and listen to them for hours. The last few days i have been spending time at Tita Emmy's, the aunt of junior and mother of a friend of mine. I mostly go there for the TV but also for the company. Junior's uncle who is particular i only refer to him as Tito, invited me in the other day to watch the boxing. It didn't take much persuading and I took my place on the bamboo sofa, to watch a DVD of the greatest Pacquiao fights. Particularly the one where Ricky Hatton was knocked out cold in the second round. We watched this fight twice much to my displeasure, There was only so many times i could watch the closest hing to home at that second get totally pummeled. Although i knew the teasing was all in good heart. My friend arrived in the door way and rolled her eyes at her father and me sitting on the sofa getting far too into the boxing. She sat down next to me and joined in the teasing about the Hatton fight. The boxing came to an end and Tito left she sat and told me he went to visit her step brother in jail. There was an awkward silence which she broke with nervous laughter. She began explaining that her step brother's were the bad boys in Payatas a phrase i cringed at but knew she had picked it up only from he American TV that dominates the box. The brother who was in jail had been imprisoned for gang rape and the other I met shortly after. He walked through the room smoking a Marlboro. He stopped and said "hey Joe whats up" i felt nervous to reply but she nudged me the ribs implying it was okay. I said i was okay and how was he. I didn't really get a response clearly using up his main English vocabulary. As he passed through the room and his back was turned to me i saw the bulge at the back of his shorts, the handle of a pistol visible through his baggy white t shirt. I swallowed hard and sat nervously silent, he left as quickly as he came with a fleeting "bye Joe" as he left. This was my first experience With Juniors step cousin. The next was just if not more awkward as he had come to the house only to argue with his father as we sat in front of the TV. I could see the vulnerable sweet little girl feared her step brother. She was nearly sixteen but still had the innocence and looks of a girl much younger i squeezed her hand reassuringly not knowing what else to do.
Junior and his cousin had been the main ones to share there experiences of gang life and growing up surrounded by violence as children. Occasionally i get texts waning of "riots" or "gang wars" and what areas to stay out of. Although they are are rare it would seem my first week had landed me in a minor war zone that resolved itself quickly. I still feared for my vulnerable friends if anything more than myself. I knew I could handle myself more than some of them. Knowing there was gang rapists here made me feel sick but incredibly protective over my friends here knowing they were so vulnerable. Although the thought came while sitting on the stoop, they had dealt with it a lot longer than me. This thought sobered my anger and extinguished my protectiveness slightly. Still i worry for them, but then i have always been a worrier.
These dangers and concerns aside, the last few days I have been shown the warmth and hospitality that reminded me why i loved this place so much. It encouraged me to give back now as they had already given me too much without even realizing.
Thursday 8 October 2009
four arranged marriages at a funeral
Emma has recently employed a driver mostly to take the girls to and from school while she is else where. His name is Rodel the same one who killed the dog on the way back from dumagety. So Rodel "the dog killer" is actually a really nice guy. Although from the way i have seen him handle a machete i wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of him. Regardless i have had a lot of fun when he has been around. He always tries his best to get through a conversation with me even though he struggles with English. He has been the only one i have been able to have blokey conversations with while im here, the usual women and beer mostly.
I found out a few days ago his brother had died and last night he invited me to go to the wake. I felt honored to be invited but scared of what i was meant to do having never been to a wake before let alone one the other side of the world. I didn't know what to wear but i settled finally on the classic smart causal as we left and i saw Rodel in just a white vest and camo trousers i felt a little over dressed but didn't feel it would matter. We arrived outside a building with a sign that said memorial chapel i followed rodel mel and Jnr inside standing sheepishly behind.
We entered a partitioned room with a coffin at one end with candles either side. Solid wooden pews lined the way down. I passed people, nervous to look at there faces with my head down i followed them to the coffin. It was a open casket and as i stared into the face of rodels dead brother my whole body went numb. I had never seen a dead person before and for a split second i cherished life more than i ever had before. I felt strange dizzy and sick not because of the body but at the concept of death. As i turned round to look at the room i saw the faces of the people. They were not weeping or sobbing, there was no veiled widow. They were all laughing and joking there was a game of cards going on in the back corner. I instantly felt stupid for feeling emotional when i had never even met this man before in my life. I was introduced to his family one by one his wife sat reading a newspaper and was eager to strike up a conversation with me. I sat with the boys as Rodel brought me a coffee in a polystyrene cup. It only took minutes for reality to hit again and the conversation was the normal boyish humor i enjoyed to watch.
There were a few girls towards the front who had been looking around at me and giggling. I had become used to this kind of attention and I smiled. Rodel caught me smiling and instantly introduced me as "josh from england single" this was responded by a lot of girly giggling in approval. I didn't know what to say so hung my head embarrassed. I was shocked i couldn't believe i was being set up at a funeral, but rodel was convinced I should find a wife, as it would save me money at immigrationwith him. A notion i found amusing as a wife would probably be a lot more expensive in the long run. I was pleased when the conversation changed away from me, although it didnt take long before the girls came over to talk to us. Jnr began to talk to them and I half listened to words i understood my eyes still fixed on the coffin in front of me, unable to forget the face of rodels brother. Hours passed and it was getting late we had been talking and laughing with occassional games of chess. Rodel had dissapered and when he reappeard he carried four large bottle of red horse, the beer so strong that it doesnt even have the percentage on the bottle. We sat and drank and talked freely. As bizzare as it felt i was willing to meet this tradition, as Rodel and Jnr explained that in the philippines a wake was a chance to commerate all the good memories instead of sitting around crying. We shared cultural diffrences and laughed as more beer was poured. Two of the girls came and we spoke small talk the beer and talking continued until the next thing i knew it was half eleven and i had been asked for my number. This was a new experience to me i had never had someone ask ME for my number, the situation scared me. As far as i could work out i had just been approached and flirted at by the daughter of the man that lay in a white coffin. I felt like i had been disrespectful to give my number but still had the excited smile of flattery. We left soon after and took the wet journey back home smiling and laughing at what should of been a morbid evening.
I didnt know the man that i had gone to pay respects to, but from the people i met that night he must of had a good life with some very kind people around him. Sitting on wooden pews and playing chess my mind rife with thoughts of death soon made hazy by laughter and beer. I realized life is to be enjoyed and to seize every opportunity, there is no point sitting and thinking about how good it all could of been. When you are wasting the days that it can be. I felt asif i was living out all of his favorite things that night and although i had never met him i had been a part of his life if only for one night.
I found out a few days ago his brother had died and last night he invited me to go to the wake. I felt honored to be invited but scared of what i was meant to do having never been to a wake before let alone one the other side of the world. I didn't know what to wear but i settled finally on the classic smart causal as we left and i saw Rodel in just a white vest and camo trousers i felt a little over dressed but didn't feel it would matter. We arrived outside a building with a sign that said memorial chapel i followed rodel mel and Jnr inside standing sheepishly behind.
We entered a partitioned room with a coffin at one end with candles either side. Solid wooden pews lined the way down. I passed people, nervous to look at there faces with my head down i followed them to the coffin. It was a open casket and as i stared into the face of rodels dead brother my whole body went numb. I had never seen a dead person before and for a split second i cherished life more than i ever had before. I felt strange dizzy and sick not because of the body but at the concept of death. As i turned round to look at the room i saw the faces of the people. They were not weeping or sobbing, there was no veiled widow. They were all laughing and joking there was a game of cards going on in the back corner. I instantly felt stupid for feeling emotional when i had never even met this man before in my life. I was introduced to his family one by one his wife sat reading a newspaper and was eager to strike up a conversation with me. I sat with the boys as Rodel brought me a coffee in a polystyrene cup. It only took minutes for reality to hit again and the conversation was the normal boyish humor i enjoyed to watch.
There were a few girls towards the front who had been looking around at me and giggling. I had become used to this kind of attention and I smiled. Rodel caught me smiling and instantly introduced me as "josh from england single" this was responded by a lot of girly giggling in approval. I didn't know what to say so hung my head embarrassed. I was shocked i couldn't believe i was being set up at a funeral, but rodel was convinced I should find a wife, as it would save me money at immigrationwith him. A notion i found amusing as a wife would probably be a lot more expensive in the long run. I was pleased when the conversation changed away from me, although it didnt take long before the girls came over to talk to us. Jnr began to talk to them and I half listened to words i understood my eyes still fixed on the coffin in front of me, unable to forget the face of rodels brother. Hours passed and it was getting late we had been talking and laughing with occassional games of chess. Rodel had dissapered and when he reappeard he carried four large bottle of red horse, the beer so strong that it doesnt even have the percentage on the bottle. We sat and drank and talked freely. As bizzare as it felt i was willing to meet this tradition, as Rodel and Jnr explained that in the philippines a wake was a chance to commerate all the good memories instead of sitting around crying. We shared cultural diffrences and laughed as more beer was poured. Two of the girls came and we spoke small talk the beer and talking continued until the next thing i knew it was half eleven and i had been asked for my number. This was a new experience to me i had never had someone ask ME for my number, the situation scared me. As far as i could work out i had just been approached and flirted at by the daughter of the man that lay in a white coffin. I felt like i had been disrespectful to give my number but still had the excited smile of flattery. We left soon after and took the wet journey back home smiling and laughing at what should of been a morbid evening.
I didnt know the man that i had gone to pay respects to, but from the people i met that night he must of had a good life with some very kind people around him. Sitting on wooden pews and playing chess my mind rife with thoughts of death soon made hazy by laughter and beer. I realized life is to be enjoyed and to seize every opportunity, there is no point sitting and thinking about how good it all could of been. When you are wasting the days that it can be. I felt asif i was living out all of his favorite things that night and although i had never met him i had been a part of his life if only for one night.
Wednesday 7 October 2009
work hard play harder.
and so it was: the last day of work at joyland. The day started later than usual i after the two days work there before my body was hurting and my mind tired and run down. Although i woke up with a new positivity for the day convinced it would be finished on this day and so it was.
We finished our hands cut but the ground cleared, blisters on my blisters but hard work no longer feared.
We finished with happy faces as we walked back over all the piles of grass and rain forest. We had worked so hard at with machetes and bare hands over the previous weeks. We laughed and smiled all the way back to the van my hands shaking red raw. We piled back in i took the front with mel, we joked the way we always do mostly using gestures and noises. Laughing as we watched the boys be thrown about in the back as we sailed over rough terrain. A knock at the window signaled the boys wanted to stop we looked round with puzzled faces. They ran out of the back i looked through the tiny 5x5 window until they came back into view. They were carrying three huge sticks of sugar cane each easily as tall as me. They threw them back in the cab as well as themselves and we set off back down the less traveled road. The boys set to work with the machetes stripping down the cane in the back. When we got back onto the main road and there was a knock at the window i looked into the back. They signaled for me to too reach round and get some they had stripped for me. So there i was leaning half my body out the side window and grabbing sugar cane from the back of the jeep. I sat the whole way back to daccutan Biting large chunks out of it and chewing it with a big smile. When we got back to daccutan a couple of the boys were waiting for the 6 of us. They had clams and fish they had caught that morning. Two of the biggest plates of rice i had ever seen in my life (and thats saying something) sat on the table. So we ate and joked all weary from the morning, but the food brought back the colour to faces and kept the smiles solidly where they were. Indang put two chillies on my plate, I smiled liking chili and thinking they wouldn't be too hot if she was offering them too me. Convinced i could handle chilies anyway. Well apparently i couldn't and from Indangs wicked laughter she knew i wouldn't either, as she placed three in her mouth and chewed them completely unphased. I knew then i was no match in this iron mouth comp and shoved as much rice in my mouth as i could to dull the heat.
Once the food had settled and the boys were washed i invited them back to the subdivision to have some driving lessons from mel. They were more than eager and so we said our goodbyes to Indang and several of the kids who had been hanging around. Gathered ourselves and headed home.
Once i was showered i watched the boys shakily set behind the wheel nervously chugging down the road outside the house. I watched the face of fear from mel as he sat along side them one by one. Fortunately the cab didn't end up in a ditch or wrapped around a tree. I think they stopped before this luck ran out knowing it was only a matter of time and asked if we could play basketball. I replied ofcourse and said i would pay for the court at the clubhouse. They refused deciding it would probably be too expensive so they wandered off, they came back with various bits of wood and some old hoop that they borrowed from over the road. Half an hour later they are up in a tree nailing in the basketball hoop they just made. Brace, backboard the lot. That was probablly the most rewarding basketball game of my life, even if it was stopped by rain. It just shows how they have learnt to be so resourceful and that you don't need money when you can find a few bits of wood and a hammer.
I wish i could be even half as fearless as they are hanging out of trees with ease. It reminds me of a couple weeks ago, when someone had left the screen door open. A snake had crawled in i hadn't noticed it, but the next thing i know i turn round to see mel with a flip flop in his hand and batting a snake on the head. He then carried this ex venomous reptile around the house for the next half an hour as a trophy. It doesn't get much more fearless and resourceful than that!
it has been a rewarding day and a perfect balance of work and play. One that will send me to sleep happy.
We finished our hands cut but the ground cleared, blisters on my blisters but hard work no longer feared.
We finished with happy faces as we walked back over all the piles of grass and rain forest. We had worked so hard at with machetes and bare hands over the previous weeks. We laughed and smiled all the way back to the van my hands shaking red raw. We piled back in i took the front with mel, we joked the way we always do mostly using gestures and noises. Laughing as we watched the boys be thrown about in the back as we sailed over rough terrain. A knock at the window signaled the boys wanted to stop we looked round with puzzled faces. They ran out of the back i looked through the tiny 5x5 window until they came back into view. They were carrying three huge sticks of sugar cane each easily as tall as me. They threw them back in the cab as well as themselves and we set off back down the less traveled road. The boys set to work with the machetes stripping down the cane in the back. When we got back onto the main road and there was a knock at the window i looked into the back. They signaled for me to too reach round and get some they had stripped for me. So there i was leaning half my body out the side window and grabbing sugar cane from the back of the jeep. I sat the whole way back to daccutan Biting large chunks out of it and chewing it with a big smile. When we got back to daccutan a couple of the boys were waiting for the 6 of us. They had clams and fish they had caught that morning. Two of the biggest plates of rice i had ever seen in my life (and thats saying something) sat on the table. So we ate and joked all weary from the morning, but the food brought back the colour to faces and kept the smiles solidly where they were. Indang put two chillies on my plate, I smiled liking chili and thinking they wouldn't be too hot if she was offering them too me. Convinced i could handle chilies anyway. Well apparently i couldn't and from Indangs wicked laughter she knew i wouldn't either, as she placed three in her mouth and chewed them completely unphased. I knew then i was no match in this iron mouth comp and shoved as much rice in my mouth as i could to dull the heat.
Once the food had settled and the boys were washed i invited them back to the subdivision to have some driving lessons from mel. They were more than eager and so we said our goodbyes to Indang and several of the kids who had been hanging around. Gathered ourselves and headed home.
Once i was showered i watched the boys shakily set behind the wheel nervously chugging down the road outside the house. I watched the face of fear from mel as he sat along side them one by one. Fortunately the cab didn't end up in a ditch or wrapped around a tree. I think they stopped before this luck ran out knowing it was only a matter of time and asked if we could play basketball. I replied ofcourse and said i would pay for the court at the clubhouse. They refused deciding it would probably be too expensive so they wandered off, they came back with various bits of wood and some old hoop that they borrowed from over the road. Half an hour later they are up in a tree nailing in the basketball hoop they just made. Brace, backboard the lot. That was probablly the most rewarding basketball game of my life, even if it was stopped by rain. It just shows how they have learnt to be so resourceful and that you don't need money when you can find a few bits of wood and a hammer.
I wish i could be even half as fearless as they are hanging out of trees with ease. It reminds me of a couple weeks ago, when someone had left the screen door open. A snake had crawled in i hadn't noticed it, but the next thing i know i turn round to see mel with a flip flop in his hand and batting a snake on the head. He then carried this ex venomous reptile around the house for the next half an hour as a trophy. It doesn't get much more fearless and resourceful than that!
it has been a rewarding day and a perfect balance of work and play. One that will send me to sleep happy.
Monday 5 October 2009
All the Fear Of The Fair
Its the start of maskkara which like any festival here is a huge deal. It lasts pretty much the whole month and already the streets are filled with the brightly colored masks that baccolod is famed for. The roads are blocked with markets, eateries and small half bamboo have cola banner bars spill out onto the tarmac. The bars advertise cocktails that you can pretty much guarantee will make you go blind this isn't part of the advertisement just experience talking. Sound systems blare out all the over played chart songs that the residents never seem to tire of. Its a vibrant time to be living in Baccolod.
As a part of any festival or fiesta or vague inkling of a party comes the traveling fair. It is set up in an abandoned strip of land of which there are plenty and so goes up the rickety ferris wheels and spinning spiders. I had taken my cousins and a few friends to the SM mall. Any time i go to these big Americanized corporate mega malls i come out feeling like i have had a prostate exam dirty and violated. I am thirsty for real culture and grittiness. It doesn't get much grittier than a fair where all the rides are run by a 50cc motorbike engine and make of scrap metal. I am convinced that i wont die through wry smiles of eager Filipino friends. Agreeing reluctantly we go in and i decide that if i were to die it would probably be quite an entertaining way to go and if i live it would be a story to write home about. So as you can see i am not one of the people who write there obituary in advance this is not a suicide note i did go to a fillipino gypsy fair and i did survive. Admittedly there was only one ride that lifted of the ground that i deemed vaguely sturdy enough not to be my demise and even the the whole way round i was cursing and swearing blind. I don't usually get scared on rides no more than the adrenaline fear that makes you shout with excitement. although the girlish screams heard on that day were my own and genuinely fearing for my life there was no adrenaline about it and if there was i think it ended up in my pants. after finding myself feeling more religious than when i got on i decided to stay on the ground while the others went of on ferris wheels and the such. i found myself attracted to a stall where you had to shoot rubber ducks of a shelf with a BB gun with a ridiculously wonky aim. I won a packet of peanuts big prizes at this fair as you can see. i wondered the fair taking in the sights and sounds watching the adults belt out karaoke on the machine while there kids played in among the madness.
Despite all the near death feeling and swearing to kill all of them for convincing me to come in here.
i did actually have fun and felt a feeling of genuine innocent enjoyment that had become so lost in all the angst of growing up and fitting in.
each day i feel more and more at home.
As a part of any festival or fiesta or vague inkling of a party comes the traveling fair. It is set up in an abandoned strip of land of which there are plenty and so goes up the rickety ferris wheels and spinning spiders. I had taken my cousins and a few friends to the SM mall. Any time i go to these big Americanized corporate mega malls i come out feeling like i have had a prostate exam dirty and violated. I am thirsty for real culture and grittiness. It doesn't get much grittier than a fair where all the rides are run by a 50cc motorbike engine and make of scrap metal. I am convinced that i wont die through wry smiles of eager Filipino friends. Agreeing reluctantly we go in and i decide that if i were to die it would probably be quite an entertaining way to go and if i live it would be a story to write home about. So as you can see i am not one of the people who write there obituary in advance this is not a suicide note i did go to a fillipino gypsy fair and i did survive. Admittedly there was only one ride that lifted of the ground that i deemed vaguely sturdy enough not to be my demise and even the the whole way round i was cursing and swearing blind. I don't usually get scared on rides no more than the adrenaline fear that makes you shout with excitement. although the girlish screams heard on that day were my own and genuinely fearing for my life there was no adrenaline about it and if there was i think it ended up in my pants. after finding myself feeling more religious than when i got on i decided to stay on the ground while the others went of on ferris wheels and the such. i found myself attracted to a stall where you had to shoot rubber ducks of a shelf with a BB gun with a ridiculously wonky aim. I won a packet of peanuts big prizes at this fair as you can see. i wondered the fair taking in the sights and sounds watching the adults belt out karaoke on the machine while there kids played in among the madness.
Despite all the near death feeling and swearing to kill all of them for convincing me to come in here.
i did actually have fun and felt a feeling of genuine innocent enjoyment that had become so lost in all the angst of growing up and fitting in.
each day i feel more and more at home.
The Exorcism of a Merman
I had begun to get adjusted to the folklores and beliefs of monsters. Small villages where old habits and old stories died hard. I enjoyed them recounting stories as we sat in the bamboo house of there experiences with monsters and spirits most of which came down to rustling in bushes. Although none of these stories could prepare me for what i saw last Sunday.
Another trip to the market slightly later this time so as we walked in the dark to the other side of the village i ducked and weaved my way through low tree branches and even lower iron roofs. Being careful not too be garroted by washing lines that all the other youth sailed under easily completely unscathed. I wander at the back slowed by my darting eyes watching for obstacles waiting to give me a concussion. It wasn't until i walked into the back of eman that i realized we had stopped there was at least 30 people all peering around and through the gaps of a house this was fairly easy as the front was made of only about 5 bits of bamboo. I presumed everyone had gathered for the boxing or cockfight or horse fight or what ever other national sport it was to be indulged in tonight. The house flickered orange and the air was completely still no one made a sound. We had all stopped so i stood towards the back seeing over with ease straining my eyes to see inside. It took me a while to work out what i was looking at; there was a girl kneeling on the floor she looked straight forward as an elderly woman walked around her. Now if you were to think Filipino voodoo witch doctor this lady fit that stereotype (if there is one) perfectly. She muttered something inaudible to all but herself. She began talking very loudly in ilongo i couldn't hear a single word i recognized. Everyone was still completely silent. The boys obviously seeing my look of fear and bewilderment ushered me to carry on and as soon as we were out of earshot. Not able to interrupt the eerie silence we had left i muttered "what the hell was that" they laughed simply saying "exorcism" and began walking again.
I stood standing for a minute completely confused and speechless i caught up eager for a better explanation. they all began to excitedly explain at once as we walked up the dirt road. all in broken English and with different starting points. The best explanation i could get was that the girl had been acting strangely had superhuman strength and a large appetite a few other things i think the boys through in just to paint a more exciting picture. Alas true or not it all came down to the fact she had been possessed by a merman. Of course this was the only logical explanation and i was foolish to think it anything else i felt like laughing but didn't feel it was appropriate. I knew that as much as the boys enjoyed joking and telling the stories of monsters this folklore was still a part of there culture. A part of me thinks they still carry the fears of their grandfathers and all the creatures that whisper up from the sea next to the place they call "home."
Another trip to the market slightly later this time so as we walked in the dark to the other side of the village i ducked and weaved my way through low tree branches and even lower iron roofs. Being careful not too be garroted by washing lines that all the other youth sailed under easily completely unscathed. I wander at the back slowed by my darting eyes watching for obstacles waiting to give me a concussion. It wasn't until i walked into the back of eman that i realized we had stopped there was at least 30 people all peering around and through the gaps of a house this was fairly easy as the front was made of only about 5 bits of bamboo. I presumed everyone had gathered for the boxing or cockfight or horse fight or what ever other national sport it was to be indulged in tonight. The house flickered orange and the air was completely still no one made a sound. We had all stopped so i stood towards the back seeing over with ease straining my eyes to see inside. It took me a while to work out what i was looking at; there was a girl kneeling on the floor she looked straight forward as an elderly woman walked around her. Now if you were to think Filipino voodoo witch doctor this lady fit that stereotype (if there is one) perfectly. She muttered something inaudible to all but herself. She began talking very loudly in ilongo i couldn't hear a single word i recognized. Everyone was still completely silent. The boys obviously seeing my look of fear and bewilderment ushered me to carry on and as soon as we were out of earshot. Not able to interrupt the eerie silence we had left i muttered "what the hell was that" they laughed simply saying "exorcism" and began walking again.
I stood standing for a minute completely confused and speechless i caught up eager for a better explanation. they all began to excitedly explain at once as we walked up the dirt road. all in broken English and with different starting points. The best explanation i could get was that the girl had been acting strangely had superhuman strength and a large appetite a few other things i think the boys through in just to paint a more exciting picture. Alas true or not it all came down to the fact she had been possessed by a merman. Of course this was the only logical explanation and i was foolish to think it anything else i felt like laughing but didn't feel it was appropriate. I knew that as much as the boys enjoyed joking and telling the stories of monsters this folklore was still a part of there culture. A part of me thinks they still carry the fears of their grandfathers and all the creatures that whisper up from the sea next to the place they call "home."
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